This is a question that pops in the mind of anyone starting something new, is it not? Be it becoming a parent, changing career, setting a new goal or starting a new business. We go through life witnessing so many stories of people around us, it is only natural we ponder if our own story is going to have a positive outcome. But what is the defining factor? What makes one person successful and another not successful when they are pursuing the same goal?
Most people have the tendency to think success is designed for a particular type of person. Is it true though? Are some of us born with a brain wired for achieving high results while others are bound to settle for things that not quite meet their own expectations?
I truly don't think so.
For over 10 years I have talked, mentored and worked with individuals of every shape, size, and backgrounds imaginable. And for over 10 years I have seen people from every shape, size and backgrounds succeed and fail using the same tools, same training and same business model. So what is the difference? What are some doing that others aren't?
In my opinion, part of the answer is simply choice. To get whatever you want to get, there is always a road. Sometimes long, sometimes steep, sometimes with multiple different turning options along the way. And the thing is: there are no short-cuts. The road is the road and it leads you there. Choosing to take it might mean leaving many other options behind. It also means not going back if your destination is truly important to you. Regardless if it storms. Regardless if you get tired or if the journey gets boring and regardless the many obstacles likely to be encountered. The choice is to keep going.
The decision to succeed is, consciously or not, followed by a fair bit of self-reflecting - which leads us to the second core reason why some people succeed and others don't: Realising that the person you are today or more precisely the present version of yourself, is not the person who will achieve the new results you want in your life. So what we must ask ourselves is: Who do we need to become to actually create the level of success we desire? Or even: How can we take a look at our limiting beliefs and get closer to who we truly are?
It is important to be aware not to make ourselves wrong in this process though. The approach is more “who do I need to become” and not necessarily “what do I need to change” or “what am I doing wrong”? If you spend your time self reflecting for the purpose of making yourself wrong you are going to find very challenging to motivate yourself to take any steps! If we are the sum of what happened to us so far – good or bad, all of our experiences have led us here to this present moment. There is nobody to blame or burden to carry unless you choose so. Even if you think you have messed things up big time in your life, a different perspective may be just what is missing in your path moving forward. In fact, sometimes messing stuff up is the best thing that ever happened to you, even if you don't see it at first.
To illustrate my point: You think you are in love, but don’t realise that the object of your sentiments will soon transform into a selfish, narcissistic and bad-mannered d*** head (excuse the language). In other words, perhaps being rejected in high school was a very, very good thing.
You are devastated not to get your dream job, but then you start at your third best option and meet the man or woman of your dreams as well as two other people who become the $1 billion dollar investors of your business idea. (Ok, perhaps I'm getting a little carried away here but you get the idea).
I'm not saying it is easy to look at it that way, specially while the experience is happening. But I will tell you this: We don't know what we don't know and that means succeeding might require us to do something that has nothing to do with what we already know. So, if to be successful we need to have the ability to self reflect to positively move forwards without beating ourselves up, do you think you can be successful? Absolutely, anybody can. It is a decision to follow through and disposition to become that version of yourself who is willing to practice self-reflecting on a regular basis.
Lastly, there is a further “secret” to creating success that is actually so simple yet so powerful, it will be the sum of our conversation and an invitation to further reflect. Remember the road to success I mentioned at the beginning, the one with no short-cuts? Guess what happens when you reach your destination? You will find another infinite different roads to take. New goals, new ideas, new ways to look at life, to relate to others and new opportunities to grow. That satisfaction you were after doesn't necessarily lives in the destination alone. In reality, success lives in the whole journey! Success is present in each time fear creeps in but you take that courageous step anyway, in each time you doubt your abilities but follow through trusting you can (and will!) learn anything you put your mind to and in each and every early morning, late night and countless hours giving all you've got!